Terms of Web Site Use:
OH BOY! You are actually going to read this page. GOOD! Our lawyers made us include it and made us use it. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain. But then we read the page. What a wakening! Hey it’s really important stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable English. So be a smart and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from really nasty people, like prosecutors.
This is the deal: We run Central Florida Magazine so that people like you (and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment, information, education, communication, and cyber-gratification. So go rowse around all you want.
You can even download really cool stuff from the site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, don’t mess around with the copyright or other legal notices all over the stuff. They’re there for a really good reason. Please, don’t even think about making copies, distributing, modifying, re-transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of our stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless we give you written permission to do so. And it’s not likely we will, its just to complicated and risky.
When you use Central-Florida-Magazine you’re legally obligated to follow our terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the use of our site, the content, the Internet, the World Wide Web, or the State of Nevada and Florida.
You shouldn’t access or browse our site if you have any problems with this, because once you start, there’s no turning back — you are stuck with our terms and conditions.
Ok so here’s the real deal about Central Florida Magazine and our ‘Top Ten Rules’ forthose of you who elect to hang out on our site:
1. We are a family web site – PG All audiences.
2. For everyone’s sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say it’s not. So you can’t use any of our stuff unless you have our written permission. And like we said before, it’s not likely we’ll give you permission. In fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it’s better you don’t even ask.
3. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we’re not promising you it’s accurate. In fact, we’re not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site, you’re using it at your own risk. Don’t call us if there’s a problem because we assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
4. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when of if you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer includes direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you ‘AS IS’ WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Here’s the bottom line — we’re not responsible if you’re browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, don’t call us.
5. If you don’t want the world to know something, don’t post in on our site or on the bulletin boards or anyplace else. That’s because anything you disclose to us is ours. That’s right — ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can even use any of your ideas, creative concepts, inside-tips, reviews, how-to’s or secret techniques you may post any way we want to, including, printing, developing, manufacturing even marketing products or services from the information you post. Hey, we need to make a dollar every now and then to pay for our time and hosting fees.
5. Pictures of people or places sent to our site are either our property or someone else’s property we’re using with their permission. No matter what, it’s definitely not your property. You or any of your friends can’t use our stuff unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess what — our lawyers said we won’t say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty copyright laws. Be smart, don’t do it.
6. There’s also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that either we own or we’re using with someone else’s permission. So don’t think you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don’t and we’re not about to give you one. If you don’t leave them alone and mess with our trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we’ll probably go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that they will ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with their property or the property of others.
7. You’ll probably notice we’ve linked our site to lots of other local web sites. While that’s cool, it doesn’t mean we’ve looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see what’s going on. So don’t blame us if some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but remember, you’re doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at the posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And don’t be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law — anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. We’re also allowed to change this page and anything else on the site any time we want to. That’s because it’s ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page, then you’re bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
If either of us wants to make something of it and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
10. This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of Nevada, without regard to principles of conflict of laws. If any dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator. Any costs and fees other than attorney fees associated with the mediation will be shared equally by each of us. If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to binding arbitration at the following location: Las Vegas Nevada, under the rules of the American Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may be entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.
Sorry if this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to remind them that human torture was still outlawed in the United States. And they didn’t look real disappointed either!
Thanks for your help.